


Knowing Where to Stand

by writingfromdarkplaces



Series: Traditions and Other Ways to Mess Up Lives [2]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 13:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7642756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingfromdarkplaces/pseuds/writingfromdarkplaces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the worlds end, Lee confronts Kara about the mess they're in, and she gives him a less than satisfying answer for why they're still stuck where they are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knowing Where to Stand

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently today was a day to revisit almost all of my AUs. I think because I was trying very hard not to work on another one.
> 
> And so I thought about what Lee and Kara would do post mini about their little predicament in this universe. That led to this, which would have been a lot easier if Helo had been on _Galactica_ for either of them to talk to.
> 
> Because... really... this sort of thing would make them even more frakked up than they already were on the show, and that was painful enough. I actually wanted more fluff here. They told me that wasn't happening.

* * *

After five days of hell and no sleep, after possibly murdering over a thousand civilians, Lee realized they'd somehow called a truce and he didn't even know when it happened. If he asked her, maybe she'd say it was when it looked like he'd died in a nuclear explosion. Maybe not. For him, since she'd hit him with the truth about Zak's death, he supposed it was after. Not necessarily in the fight at Ragnar—he had messed up more than once there and was rather willing to accept death rather than face knowing he was still married to his brother's widow and that she had killed him. Not intentionally, Gods no, but she had let him be where he didn't belong and never said a word, even after they exchanged vows and bound themselves to each other.

She'd lied. He'd hated his father for something she'd done.

And in the middle of it, there was a sick part of him that wondered if she'd pushed for the promise he'd made Zak because of what she'd done. Was it the guilt? Or was she so hell bent on preserving her place in the Adama family that she had kept quiet and gotten Lee to go against his better judgment and marry her?

She didn't want him. He knew that. He just didn't understand why it had to be like this.

He also knew that a truce would not be enough.

* * *

“We need to talk.”

Kara looked at him and snorted. “That an order, sir?”

Lee tried to control his temper. Lashing out now wasn't going to fix anything, and he was tired of this dance of avoidance they did. Cylons, the water crisis, those things were easy to use as excuses not to talk, but he had figured it out—here on Galactica she was basically a captive audience. She couldn't avoid his calls or schedule leaves around him so that he couldn't confront her, and all of that meant that he had to take advantage of what he had now.

And that he couldn't let her prod him into anger to make him lose focus, either.

“It's not, but I can make it one if you insist,” Lee told her. She shook her head, following him out of the rec room and into the hallway.

“Well?”

“I think we want more privacy for this.”

“And I think we're already done with this conversation,” she said, starting to walk away from him. He caught her arm and held her back, trying to restrain himself from slamming her into the nearest wall. He was on a very thin edge at the moment, and he had to be careful.

“I am done playing this game with you, Kara,” Lee told her, keeping his voice low so that passersby wouldn't know everything about their lives. “Look, I don't—this isn't easy for me, either. I just... I'm tired of us being like this. It's not like I thought either of us was madly in love with the other when we got married, but it certainly hasn't made us... happy.”

“Lee—”

“I told you that it wouldn't take a paper or a ring to consider you family, and it doesn't. I wish that was something I could have proved without this because... Agreeing to that promise for Zak frakked up everything.”

“You don't even know what you're frakking saying.”

“Don't I?” Lee demanded. “Zak asked for my word so you'd know you were always cared for and had a home. As frakked up as it was, _Dad_ gave you the home. He gave you the care. We didn't even _talk_ for two years. That's not a marriage. It's not a friendship. It's... nothing.”

“That's really what you think?”

He sighed. “You made it clear you weren't interested in so much as sharing the same apartment with me when I suggested it. I know that seems stupid now that the worlds have ended and this is all we get, but... I don't even know why you did it. You don't want anything from me, so why are you still holding that over my head? You could have freed us both from this nightmare months ago.”

“Marriage is a sacrament.”

He stared at her. “Wait... You... You're telling me that we have to be miserable because it's a sacrament? Is that really the only reason you're holding back?”

She didn't answer, just glared at him.

“Fine. If that's what's holding you back, fine. I'll talk to Elosha.”

“She's not going to break the banns for you just because you said so.”

“No, but she can annul them because they were never consummated,” Lee threw back at her, shaking his head as he let go and walked away.

* * *

“Is something bothering you, Lieutenant?”

“Not anything I think can talk to the president about, sir,” Kara said, not sure how she'd ended up alone with Roslin anyway. She'd wanted to find Elosha before Lee did, but the priest wasn't on _Colonial One._ Kara didn't know what to think. She wanted guidance, but she had no one to talk to. She might have talked to Lee if he wasn't right in the middle of this, Helo if he wasn't dead on Caprica, the Old Man, if this wasn't about her tangled mess with his sons. She had no one to ask except a priest.

“Then perhaps what you need is not a president but... another woman?” Roslin suggested. “You seem very troubled.”

“Am I that frakking obvious?”

“You came looking for Elosha, and you can't stop pacing,” Roslin said. “It's not hard to see, but others might not think so.”

“Have you ever frakked everything up past recognition?”

“Well, I might not use those words to describe it, but I have made poor decisions and lived to regret them,” Roslin answered, a slight smile on her face. “What is it you think you've 'frakked up' and how is it beyond recognition?”

Kara swallowed. “I married my dead husband's brother.”

Roslin took a moment before speaking. “I see. Why don't we start with something to drink?”

Kara nodded, glad for the distraction and knowing she would need a lot more than one glass to get any of this out.

* * *

“So... Let me sum this up for you,” Laura said, relying more on what the other woman had not said rather than what she had. Thrace was short on details and didn't answer direct questions, leaving Laura with only inferences, but she thought she had enough of them now. “You lost your husband, and in your grief, you turned to his brother for support. When he told you of the promise he'd made his brother, you pushed for him to fulfill that so that you would not lose what you needed but couldn't ask the brother for, correct?”

“Sir, I'm not sure—”

“No sir, and I believe I'm correct, which will have to suffice for now,” Laura went on. “Your relationship with your husband's brother—this would be easier if I had names—is complicated. He was a friend, a rock, a support... but you are also aware of him as a man.”

“Well, I didn't marry a woman,” Thrace muttered, shaking her head.

“That is not what I meant,” Laura told her, trying to stay gentle enough not to lose her to her own confrontational nature as well as being firm enough to keep hold of where this conversation needed to go. “I mean that your objection to terminating your marriage is not about your faith as much as it is an unwillingness to lose your husband.”

“I'm not in love with him.”

“And I don't think he expect you to say you are,” Laura said, though a part of her disagreed with both assessments. Still, that was conjecture. What she did know for certain, she was going to use. “I do think he needs you to say that you still want him in your life as friend and support.”

“Gods, that is so—”

“You have to bend a little.”

“He gave me a frakking ultimatum.”

“Yes, he did,” Laura agreed. “And I don't think for one minute he won't go through with it. He gave you two years from the sound of it, and what he's gotten from your silence and your actions is that you want nothing to do with him. If you want him to stay, if you want to keep the marriage, you have to be willing to admit that. Nothing else will satisfy this issue.”

“He doesn't want me.”

Laura shook her head. “I don't think that's true at all.”

“He wanted a divorce and now is getting an annulment.”

“Kara,” Laura began, using the other woman's name in the hopes of reaching her. She was so closed off, so unwilling to be vulnerable. “You said yourself he believes you want nothing from him. If that is true, he is well within his rights to demand an end to this relationship. If it is not, then I don't think he would be willing to end it, either. He needs you to meet him halfway.”

Laura bit back saying that Kara wasn't even meeting him halfway, though it wasn't like the husband in question had declared his love, either. She doubted he would without further encouragement, which would be difficult to get from Thrace. “Go to him. Tell him you want him to stay. And see what happens when you do.”

* * *

Lee couldn't believe the frakking timing. He'd finally been able to get away from Galactica, and of course that was when Elosha was off Colonial One for another ship. He didn't know how it happened, but it was lousy all the same. He just needed this over with and done already. Kara had made it clear—she wasn't interested in making their sham of a marriage into anything close to a real one, and he was tired of being married to a woman he couldn't have.

He was about to leave when he came face to face with that same woman. Kara had just left Roslin's quarters and almost knocked him over on her path. She stopped, staring at him.

“Lee?”

“Kara.”

“Is Elosha back?”

He shook his head. “No, not yet.”

She nodded. “Then there's still time.”

He frowned. “Time for what?”

She didn't answer at first, but then she launched herself at him, holding on tight. “Don't go. Don't do this. I know I frakked up, but I can't... I can't let you go.”

He cursed. “Why the frak not? You don't actually want me, so why are we doing this? Why can't you just—”

“I need you,” she said, lifting her head to look at him. “I do. I... I need you. I don't want to need anyone, but I need you, and you can't go.”

Lee looked at her, knowing he was well and truly frakked. He wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't. She needed him, and gods help him, he'd be there.


End file.
